All your rubber and leather needs are met at Village emporium U-Bahn
by Chris Barry
Age: 41
Occupation: Proprietor of U-Bahn, a fetish wear emporium in the Gay Village.
Bio: This strutting Village stud and former pianist at the Cock’n Bull pub recognized a hole in the local fetish marketplace four years ago and promptly went about getting both private and government funding to open up the fetish utopia currently known as U-Bahn. Inspired by the leather bars and boutiques of Europe, Ron claims U-Bahn “is not the kind of store you might find in a shopping mall in Laval. We’re all people who are really into the scene.” A former music school director, he is rumoured to do the baddest rendition of “Hello Dolly” this side of Broadway.
Do curious shoppers ever walk in off the street mistaking his shop for Wal-Mart? No.
One item you can buy at U-Bahn that they don’t sell at Wal-Mart: Rubber bed sheets.
One commonly held misconception about rubber bed sheets and rubber wear in general: That only people who are into watersports dig ’em.
Has he ever considered hiring a submissive to work in his store in exchange for bread and water and the occasional spanking? No.
Something he sold out of almost immediately after the events of 9/11: Gas masks.
Is U-Bahn a good place to find a little homo sex action? “Well, maybe on a busy Friday night or something, when there are a lot of people in the store, but it’s not like people come here to hang around and cruise.”
Best part of the job: “I would say that getting to dress up a hot babe who walks into the store in leather or rubber is a pretty nice perk.”
Has he ever gotten lucky with a customer? Yes.
Worst part of the job: Not having enough time to travel.
Are rubber face-masks and leather go-go shorts a big hit with the professional shoplifting crowd? No. “I would say incidents of shoplifting here are minimal to non-existent.”
Childhood ambition: To become a teacher or a veterinarian.
Current ambition: To someday lie on a beach somewhere reveling in all the success and money he has garnered from his business.
Where you might find him hanging out: Black Eagle.
Something else he’s involved in: Sponsoring the world-renowned Gummi Night fetish parties a couple of times a year.
Are the Gummi Night events a good place to pick up chicks? Not especially. “There’s usually about five or six women out of a crowd of maybe 170 men. But they’re the kind of women you want to have there, because they’re really cool and always look amazing.”
Last book read: Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive: Outsell, Outmanage, Outmotivate, and Outnegotiate Your Competition, by Harvey Mackay and Kenneth H. Blanchard.
Television preferences: Six Feet Under. “An amazing show.”
Musical preferences: Chet Baker, Billie Holiday, “any old jazz crooner from the 1920s, ’30s or ’40s.”
A recent film he dug: American Beauty.
A recent film he despised: Moulin Rouge.
Words of wisdom: “Dreams come true for dreamers."
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